Diet Quotations

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins.  Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.  ~Stephen Phillips

I’ve been on a diet for the last two decades. I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet! ~ Erma Bombeck

We never repent having eaten too little. ~ Thomas Jefferson

Food is like sex:  when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.  ~Beth McCollister

I have a great diet.  You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.  ~Ed Bluestone

I’m not overweight.  I’m just nine inches too short.  ~Shelley Winters

My advice if you insist on slimming:  Eat as much as you like – just don’t swallow it.  ~Harry Secombe

It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren’t so handy in the refrigerator.  ~Hugh Allen

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.  ~Tom Wilson

Fat is not a moral problem.  It’s an oral problem.  ~Jane Thomas Noland

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say “when.”  ~P.G. Wodehouse

Hope is a very thin diet. ~ Thomas Shadwell